Super Bowl of Snacks

I don't care about the Super Bowl; however, I DO care about cheese dips, chips and football-shaped brownies. A lot.

Perhaps I'm a bit of an anomaly. I'm a football coach's wife who doesn't get excited about football. Oh, sure. I'll enthusiastically cheer for my husband's team because those 11 boys on the field (hopefully) secure my mortgage - and because Coach looks kind of cute when he blows his little whistle and makes a fuss.

Other than my vested interest in high school football, however, I don't care much for the gridiron.

So Super Bowl Sunday could be one giant suckfest for a non-football lover like me. Fortunately, the Super Bowl has other benefits - namely, Super Bowl snacks. Oh, how I adore the crunchy, chewy, salty, sweet, cheesy, gooey bite-sized finger foods that appear in droves on Super Bowl Sunday.

That's right. You can cheer all you want. You can yell and scream and throw things at the television. You can play silly Super Bowl games and make friendly wagers with friends.

While you're arguing over point spreads, I'll be spreading some cream cheese dip on a cracker.

While you're screaming at the referee that dude secured the first down before he was knocked out of bounds, I'll be bounding into the kitchen to down some Bud Light and Chex mix. (By the way, contrary to popular belief, the referee on television does not have the magical powers to hear you).

Here's what your Super Bowl football lingo means to me tonight:

Who Dat? Don't know. Don’t care. Please pass the layered Mexican dip.

The Colts? I'm not Peyton much attention. Now, get me another ham and cheese roll-up and a cookie.

First and ten? The first of ten chip varieties I'll be sampling today.

Quarterback? First quarter, I'm going back for more salsa. Second quarter, I'm going back for sausage balls. Third quarter, I'm going back for cocktail weenies. Fourth quarter, I'm going back for all of the above.

Pass? Pass me that pepperoni if you're not going to eat it.

Kicker? I'm gonna kicker your ass if you don't back away from my nacho dip.

Touchdown? Touch my belly. I think I can down a few more brownies, don’t you?

Field goal? My goal is to field the snacks on the kitchen counter at all times.

Super Bowl? Bowls of Super Snacks.

Mmmm. I'm hungry. When's kick off?