Ahhh, Christmas.
So much to celebrate this wonderful time of year: the Christmas spirit; the family traditions; the treats; the uplifting carols; the treats; the festive lights; the treats; the beautifully wrapped gifts; the treats; and in case I forgot to mention them, the treats.
From fudge to cookies, gingerbread to divinity, if it's chock-full of sugar and butter, there's a good chance I've devoured it this season. The best part? Everyone knows that calories consumed between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day don't count. Seriously. It's like eating air.
(That being said, I hope Santa brings me a new dryer this year. For some inexplicable reason, mine has been shrinking my pants the past few weeks. Honest to goodness, I could barely button them this morning. Stupid dryer.)
Inspired by delicious, decadent Christmas goodies, I reworked a popular Christmas carol. I hope you enjoy it. May your holidays be full of peace, joy, butter and sugar...
The Twelve Pounds of Christmas
On the first day of Christmas I gobbled up in glee, a Chocodile shipped to me.
On the second day of Christmas I gobbled up in glee, two turtle treats and a Chocodile shipped to me.
On the third day of Christmas I gobbled up in glee, three French crêpes, two turtle treats and a Chocodile shipped to me.
On the fourth day of Christmas I gobbled up in glee, four candy canes, three French crêpes, two turtle treats and a Chocodile shipped to me.
On the fifth day of Christmas I gobbled up in glee, fiiiiive Rinnnng Dinnngs, four candy canes, three French crêpes, two turtle treats and a Chocodile shipped to me.
On the sixth day of Christmas I gobbled up in glee, six cheese a-caking, fiiiiive Rinnnng Dinnngs, four candy canes, three French crêpes, two turtle treats and a Chocodile shipped to me.
On the seventh day of Christmas I gobbled up in glee, seven pies a-baking, six cheese a-caking, fiiiiive Rinnnng Dinnngs, four candy canes, three French crêpes, two turtle treats and a Chocodile shipped to me.
On the eighth day of Christmas I gobbled up in glee, eight crèmes brulee-ing, seven pies a-baking, six cheese a-caking, fiiiiive Rinnnng Dinnngs, four candy canes, three French crêpes, two turtle treats and a Chocodile shipped to me.
On the ninth day of Christmas I gobbled up in glee, nine lady fingers, eight crèmes brulee-ing, seven pies a-baking, six cheese a-caking, fiiiiive Rinnnng Dinnngs, four candy canes, three French crêpes, two turtle treats and a Chocodile shipped to me.
On the tenth day of Christmas I gobbled up in glee, ten rolls a-rising, nine lady fingers, eight crèmes brulee-ing, seven pies a-baking, six cheese a-caking, fiiiiive Rinnnng Dinnngs, four candy canes, three French crêpes, two turtle treats and a Chocodile shipped to me.
On the eleventh day of Christmas I gobbled up in glee, eleven cookies cooking, ten rolls a-rising, nine lady fingers, eight crèmes brulee-ing, seven pies a-baking, six cheese a-caking, fiiiiive Rinnnng Dinnngs, four candy canes, three French crêpes, two turtle treats and a Chocodile shipped to me.
On the twelfth day of Christmas I gobbled up in glee, twelve brownies browning, eleven cookies cooking, ten rolls a-rising, nine lady fingers, eight crèmes brulee-ing, seven pies a-baking, six cheese a-caking, fiiiiive Rinnnng Dinnngs, four candy canes, three French crêpes, two turtle treats and a Chocodile shipped to me.
You should be the poster child for sugar. Eat. More. Sugar. LYL, xo.
ReplyDeleteOh, Jennifer, I have long admired you from afar, (much) cool(er) older sister of Josh. (Sorry, Josh.) Now that Julie has told us about your blog, I have gobbled it up like a favorite book, and I might begin stalking you. I live in NC, so it won't really be much of a problem for you. You are such a brilliant writer, although I expected no less. Thanks for making me laugh!
ReplyDeleteWooHOO! I asked Santa for a stalker!
ReplyDeleteGlad you stopped by the porch. Thank you so much for your kind words (especially the part about being cooler than Josh. I'm having that printed up on t-shirts for the family). I stayed up late last night reading your blog and was blown away by it. Your honesty is heartwrenching & heartwarming all at the same time. I hung on every word. I wish you & your fellas only the very, very best!